You Should Be Using More Lube
I like lube. To me, having intercourse with out lube is like brushing your tooth with a dry toothbrush. It would possibly get the job executed, however the result’s … sticky, form of painful, and doesn’t depart you feeling refreshed. Lube just isn’t an elective luxurious that sits within the bedside drawer ready for the “right moment.” Whether you might be spending some intimate time with your self, a accomplice, or many companions, an intimate lubricant must be concerned.
No bed room is full with out at the least one or two varieties available, particularly if you happen to’re planning to make use of intercourse toys. (You ought to be utilizing intercourse toys, however that’s one other story.) As far as I’m involved, lube is as important for intercourse as condoms and clear palms. If I present up at somebody’s home for a superb time and there isn’t lube ready on the nightstand, I’m heading out the door.
No Lube, No Boob
I used to be shocked to study that not everyone seems to be with me on this. In the (albeit principally queer and Pacific Northwestern) bedrooms I’ve been in, lube has been as widespread as bedsheets and tarot playing cards. If you haven’t tried lube earlier than, or you probably have some reservations, that’s in all probability not your fault. There are highly effective forces working to persuade you that you have to be on the market raw-dogging it. Dark forces, gathering within the night time, who search solely to chafe your genitals.
One of those malicious creatures is misogyny—it tells us that utilizing an intimate lubricant is in some way a failing; that needing it for intercourse is a failure in your half or your accomplice’s. It whispers: How dare you not get wetter; there should be one thing improper together with your physique.
Another monster beneath the mattress is machismo. It tells us that utilizing lube means you’re a foul lover and that you just’ve didn’t get your accomplice excited. It’s all nonsense. There is nothing improper together with your physique. There’s nothing improper together with your method. Sometimes our bodies don’t do what we would like them to and, shock, shock, generally genitals don’t behave in the way in which that films, TV, books, and porn inform us they need to.
Pleasure Is Not the Enemy
What’s disheartening is that these attitudes proceed to form not solely a preferred opinion however medical analysis into sexual well being. Most of the research I seemed into whereas researching this story targeted on intimate lubricants deal with curing an issue. I discovered just one or two that even point out sexual pleasure, and a type of is a examine about how few articles about sexual well being point out sexual pleasure. It’s 2022, can we please give up pretending that individuals shouldn’t take pleasure in getting off? Or that sexual pleasure isn’t necessary? Because it’s. Put that Plymouth-Rock-Puritanical-Hester-Prynne nonsense within the rearview.
Anyone who has ever touched themselves is aware of that having a little bit further one thing (saliva, naturally occurring moisture, and so on) makes it really feel higher. And feeling good is the entire level! Water-based or silicone-based lubes produced from high-quality elements may be like rocket gas on your sexual pleasure.
Not solely do they forestall chafing (and microscopic tears) on probably the most delicate components of your physique, however they make issues really feel so a lot better. Lube is like sexual MSG. It makes all the things higher, and a few individuals are weirdly afraid of it.
Let’s Get Down to Business
OK, so the place do you begin? Easy peasy: Order your self a bottle of any unscented, unflavored, glycerin-free, water-based lube. You don’t need any scent, as a result of once you’re within the thick of it, it’s going to make issues scent bizarre. (It’s the identical cope with flavored lubes.) Ideally, you need lubes which have as few elements as doable. Keep it easy.
Brands like Sliquid match the invoice and really feel nice to make use of on any genitals, plus they’re cheap. In my expertise, they’ll depart you feeling a little bit sticky afterward. For a extra premium lube, I’d level you to ones from Maude or Dame. These lubes meet the above standards however depart a pleasant clear end and final a little bit longer once you’re utilizing them.
The different main form of lube you’ll encounter is silicone-based. These lubes are oil-based, that means they final so much longer than water-based lubes, as your physique received’t soak up them as rapidly; it makes them the commonest alternative for anal play and anal intercourse. However, they’ll intervene with vaginal flora, so it’s usually not suggested to make use of them for vaginal play or vaginal intercourse.
There can be one different huge caveat with silicone-based lubes: You can’t use them with silicone intercourse toys. Silicone lube could make silicone toys degrade over time. If you utilize silicone lube with a silicone toy, ensure you use a condom. My favorites listed here are from the identical manufacturers as above: Sliquid and Maude.
Other than that, my solely remaining recommendation is that this: Play! Play with your self. Get a lube, put aside a while, seize a favourite toy, and go ham. The solely method to discover ways to use lubes is to make use of them, and one of the simplest ways to observe is with your self. Learn how effectively they apply, how a lot you want to make use of, and the place the perfect place to retailer them is. Sex must be straightforward, be friction-free, and really feel nice—and a superb lube will assist with all three.
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